1. Skipping Meals. The most ridiculous and atrocious notion you’ve ever come across? Individuals who claim to forget about meals because they’re too busy or distracted.
2. Breakfast. Within 30 seconds of waking up you’re considering your breakfast option. When breakfast is finished, daydreaming about lunch begins. And so on.
3. A Buffet. There is a part of you that actually dreads buffet-style meals. You can say, from past experiences, that it’s definitely possible to have too much of a good thing. However, when it comes to never-ending food and you’re trying to get your money’s worth, it’s very likely you’ll leave the restaurant or party feeling like pregnant.
4. A ‘Small.’ Despite judgments, you’ve never asked for a small sized anything. You always order the bigger portion. A six-inch Subway over a footlong is basically a joke to you.
5. Formal Dinners. When eating with family and friends, they know to position your favorite dish right in front of your seat. If they don’t, they should expect to pass it to you at least three times.
6. Edible Rewards. When you’ve had a particularly tough day you treat yourself with a delicious dinner. When you’ve achieved a goal or task especially well it’s booze time. You’re pretty easy to please.
7. Christmas. Always merry and bright and… amazing because there’s tons of food. There’s really no other time of year when people make mountains of meat just because.
8.Adverts. Food adverts come on and you’re like “OMG GIVE ME MY PHONE I’M ORDERING A TAKEAWAY”. Or if your income is a little higher: “OMG HOW GOOD IS THE NEW M&S FOOD ADVERT!”
9. Food > Income. A large portion of your wages are dedicated to food. Once you’ve paid for rent and bills, there’s nothing stopping you from ordering Domino’s and getting cheeky at Nando’s nearly everyday.
10. Exercise. You only go to the gym because it allows you to inhale more calories.
11. Food Coupons. Not only do you collect and use food vouchers and cards, but your friends and family give you restaurant gift cards and Groupons as presents. And you’d like nothing more.
12. Food = Mood. The day’s meals can make or break the quality of that day. Good food = good day.
13. Killing Time. When you know you’re going to be early to meet someone, you look for a somewhere to grab a snack.
14. Dieting = Angry. When you haven’t eaten in a while or are trying to do something crazy like cut back or diet – your mood is terribly foul and you cannot stand to be around other people.
15. Free Food. If an event offers free food, you’re there.
16. Cinema Snacks. There’s no way you’re sitting through a movie without popcorn and/or pick’n’mix.
17. Fitness Event. After completing a strenuous race – like a tough mudder or a half marathon – you make a devilish grin and think, “I can eat whatever I want today.”
18. Trademark Food. Everyone in your life knows that you love a particular type of food because you talk about your love for that food at every possible opportunity.
19. Never Stopping. Eating, for you, has much less to do with fulfilling your hunger than it does satisfying a particular craving. You don’t stop just because you’re full. That would be ridiculous.
20. Crumbs. All over the couch.
21. Never Full. Somehow you always find room for more food, even when you thought your stomach was stretched to max capacity.
22. Food Shopping. You actually like food shopping because…. ALL THE POSSIBILITIES!
23. Friends Awareness. You are often aware that people (roommates, friends, family, etc.) are disgustedly noticing the amount of food you’re eating. You’re sure they’re thinking: They’re going back for more??
24. Checking On Food. You very quickly lose count of the times you open and close the refrigerator and cupboard doors. Just checking, you know, that nothing changed in there.
25. Food Envy. Eating out is a purely enjoyable experience – until you notice how much better someone else’s food looks.