Would you like some fries with that?

Healthy food is not as healthy as it may appear. Are you really going to eat something that’s green? That means it’s rotten. I checked.

Time:  In the fast-paced world of 2016, where life revolves around Justin Bieber and Instagram, people no longer want their food made quickly, they need it. Modern culture has evolved so much that there simply isn’t enough spare time to spent it cooking something healthy. When the alternative to a roast chicken with veg, is a deep-fried delight at the drive thru just minutes away, the decision is a no-brainer. Opting for a home cooked meal is like buying new clothes and waiting until they go out of fashion to wear them.

Happiness: Scientists from the University of Boll-x have proved that the faster an individual consumes high amounts of calories, the more energised and happy they will be. To achieve the same premium levels of stimulation and smiles as eating a Big Mac, you would have to eat 672 stalks of celery. Do you have the time eat all that when you could get the same amount of calories from just one delicious burger?

Price: The same report also concluded that those who consume twice as much in calories from “healthy food” are still spending on average 118 times more than those who don’t. Can you really afford this? As the quality of fast food has increased, the prices haven’t changed a penny. Did you know that a bucket of KFC chicken wings costs the same today as it did for Queen Victoria in 1886? Drinking a Diet Coke should slim us down too right? Right. If you have five pounds to feed yourself, your choices are more than likely going to gravitate toward foods which give you the most calories per penny right? Right. Not only are  the empty calories in diet drinks cheaper, but ‘healthy foods’ are becoming more and more expensive. If you’re concerned about saving cash the most logical idea is therefore to eat from the pound-saver menu at your local fast food restaurant because you now know that it’s cheaper than going shopping or cooking at home. Added benefits include no loss of appetite or loss of time.

Health: Fast food places now have play areas which provide kids with the only exercise they’ll get in a day. After eating a balanced meal, toddlers also have a place to run around and play, giving young parents the time to check trending Twitter hashtags and catch up on Facebook. To get in shape, changing lifestyle towards fast food is the way to go. It reduces calorie intake and helps maintain a balanced diet, and all it requires is a little education. Stay away from popular opinion, such as believing Subway is healthier than Mcdonalds. In reality it would take over six hours to walk off Subway’s Footlong Meatball Marinara, a Double Chunk Cookie, and large Coke. Depending on your age and general fitness, walking could be detrimental to your health and  circulation. Attempting any more rigorous exercise, such as jogging or running, will result in mental and physical discomfort for 95% of the population.

Taste: Not only does fast food eliminate the hassle of prior preparation, cost less, and provide healthy and nutritious meals, it tastes great too! The mix between cardboard and cheap plastic are a joy for the taste buds.

The bottom line is that there are almost no negative side effects to fast food, and only good things can happen. ‘Healthy food’ makes you pay more money and takes days to prepare. So hang in there you fast food freaks, and until we ‘meat’ again…..keep it Finger Lickin Good.